As we trudge forward into the realm of home ownership, once again I can’t help but noticing what scum bags the banks are. For that matter pretty much anyone associated with the black magic of lending in this country to me falls in this category. Let me back up and say that I don’t think that most people who work for a bank….loan officer, sales, clerk, teller and so on are born from the belly of hell, but I think that the folks (lobbyist, CEO’s and Higher Up’s) are defiantly shat out of the bowels of Lucifer himself.
How many calls have you received from a banker that wants you to re-finance your current home loan to a new affordable rate? I got one a few years ago and almost fell under his spell. It all seems legit right? Until you sit down and do the math….Sure you can reduce you monthly payment by $300.00 a month (“Thats like 3,600 a year” says banker asshole) but what are they leaving out of the picture? Well what they neglect to tell you is that your last 5 years of payments assuming a Mortage payment of $1200 a month went directly into the bank’s pocket as interest to the tune of about 80K! Now they want to offer a “No Cost” Refi on your home just as you start to chip away at the Principal of the orginial loan and gain equity. The Little secret that they always leave out of the conversation is that the real cost of the loan is added to your balance and now you start over with the refinanced loan!!! One thing that most loan officers don’t tell you is that every loan that is generated is front loaded with the all the interest. They want as much as they can get up front before you ever start paying for your actual house. That seems fair as you are using their FAKE money but they now use it to their advantage by convincing folks into re-financing their loan at just about the point that the monthly interest payment starts to take a dive. You may be saving 300 per month but now with the front loaded interest and a new loan your back to square one and in 5 years you will get another call from your friend and it starts all over. What shit. These folks are sharks preying on people with under water homes….look out! Look at it this way…how many folks at the bank are combing through hundreds of files and spending endless hours looking for ways to make LESS money on you??? Remember this little rule in life…No bank ever calls YOU and exclaims they have found a way to LESS profit.
We are getting closer to closing on our house I some how have visions of Mr. Banker showing up at closing with a suitcase of Money and will hand it over to the builder. We all at that point would ogle at the amount of money on the table. It would be very similar to the last scene in Pulp Fiction with the glowing briefcase. Then we all shake hands and sign some papers and pick up our keys. Seems that it should work that way right? Wrong. Whats strange about the whole thing is that few simple key strokes of a computer generate what amounts to FAKE money on a piece of paper handed over to the builder. The only real money involved in this transition is MY money that is forked over each month. Why I keep using the phrase “FAKE money” is for the simple reason the banker assholes lobbied the government to write the rules in their favor. The rules that the banks have convinced the government to adopt basically allow for counterfeiting of money. Say I deposit 20K in my savings….real money by the way. They then by law can lend that same 20K out to 4 or 5 other individuals in the form of really anything. A predatory Re-financing scam, personal loan or other form of credit. Does this money really exist? The only real money is my 20K and the money we hand over hand over every month in a Mortgage Payment. Scary Right?
A reference to an earlier post here….don’t for a second think that I have changed my tune on the millions of American idiots who bought more home than they could afford. They are the reason the Banker Assholes silently grew in numbers and now have taken over the planet. Take a moment to think about the process for a second….Un-Educated idiots go to a bank and are too stupid to understand the principal of “Money in….Money out”. They get a loan for a big new house out in the burbs and all is well for a few years. Lots of them put little money down…some even nothing . Crazy Right? Occasionally they might struggle but a few years in, a small raise made them run out and get that new TV on Store Credit. Then a new Car or two….and now it gets a little tighter until they eventually fall behind. Bank tells the idiot homeowner tough luck….pay us or else. Home goes into short sale…..wait for it…….That can only be financed by the bank who holds the defunct loan. Why is this important you may ask? Well, if you think about the whole front loaded interest and the fact that the idiots who took the ridiculous loan terms….it all becomes clear. The American idiot paid the bank the interest for the first 3-5 years and then quit paying. The Bank collected anywhere from 30-80K from the idiot AND they get to keep the Asset and re-sell it using FAKE money! No matter how long the house remains idol it’s great for the Banker Assholes especially in a recovering housing market where the value continues to climb! They have only made money contrary to popular belief.
I don’t know why all this really bothers me so much. I guess its the fact that I have gotten a little older and in tune with what is going on around me. I for one vow to do everything in my power to pay this house off early. What ever it takes. Thats all for now. I hope no CEO banker asshole reads this blog…otherwise I may be sleeping with the fishes.