We are now almost down to a week from Sam’s second birthday and I have come to the realization of a few things.
* My parents were right. About everything. Almost.
*Time really kicks into high gear once you have kids.
* Doughnuts are delicious.
I have had a lot of time to sit back and think recently about a lot of things. More specifically…my role as a father and provider. I will say that it has not been easy transitioning into this world. I don’t think anyone is ever really ready to have kids no matter what class you take or book you read. I most certainly fell in to this category when we talked about having kids. Looking back, I know now that it was more than just not being ready; it was fear of the unknown. For me the major things that rattled my cage were transitioning down to one income, potential failure, and a completely new lifestyle but he biggest fear of was now providing for a little guy who was completely helpless. Helpless in every way and questioning our ability to help him along through life. I knew Ali would be a great mother, but I think I was just unsure of myself.
Everything was scary. You second guess every decision you make……from the time you find out you are going to be a parent until they are old enough toss a plate of Kraft Mac and Cheese all over your once beloved leather chair. For me, up until they turn one or so nothing was more chill inducing than going into the Super Baby Emporium (AKA Babies R’ US) and wondering if the (insert any product) you chose is soft enough, free of chemicals and non irritating. You choice also must not cause any of the following: gas, bloat, vomit, rash, cough, snot or anything other than a non reaction. Thankfully the days of worrying about the little things are over for us and now that we have figured it out.
As I stated above, we are a few days away from Sam turning two. While this is a natural progression….one to two and two to three I never really understood the big deal until now. Even though he is the guest of honor, I think it’s more for us as parents to reflect on what we have accomplished during the past two years.
Time tends to heal things or at least take the edge off….If someone tells you that a newborn is an easy thing to handle, their full of shit. I kindly refer to the first 4 months of Sam’s life as my “crisis management period”. Everything was difficult and scary. Did he eat enough? What was that noise? Is he hurt? Traveling anywhere was also a very scary ordeal and I have no clue why on earth we would ever want to travel to Houston again with a 5 month old. That was hell. To this day I recall the very first pit stop on that trip we made in Waynesville MO and trying to feed, change and comfort Sam in a McDonald’s far away from the familiarity of our home. Seems like an easy thing but it was as nerve wracking as anything I could think of. Oh we also had a 115 lb dog in the back to deal with as well. Just a little Icing on the cake I guess.
With all of that said, knowing what I know now…I would gladly spend every day of my life in “crisis management mode” if it meant that I could spend just a minute a day with Sam as he is right now. It really has been the most amazing experience for me and would not think of trading it for anything else.